…mandatory things in life. Death, taxes, and providing birthday blowjobs.
Monthly Archives for March 2011
Constantly posting…
…about how you wish it was spring isn’t going to make it arrive any faster.
Congratulations on the kid…
…not so much congratulations on naming it something it’ll spend its life hating you for.
You’re in Love…
…with a horse. With a horse? Seriously? There are videos about that kind of thing on the Internet, you know. You should look them up. You could make some money.
Zen and the art of…
…managing the newsfeed so that you don’t get pissed off or feel like you’ve been kicked in the stomach when you check Facebook.
Oooh…
…you only eat organic. I GET IT. I’m going to take a bite of my processed cheese sandwich now.
Sometimes…
…when you give your mom medical advice, it ends up being sex advice. Just saying.
The more miserable someone actually is…
the more likely they are to post statuses saying how happy they are.
Running on the treadmill…
…has devolved to walking at 3.5 pace while drinking beer and watching ‘Glee’.
The more you post about God…
…the less you are married. Maybe there’s a reason Jesus doesn’t “like” your statuses.
